“Confessions” of a Leader

Hi, I’m a leader. I may not be a leader in a sense that I’m holding a top post, but I believe I do have leadership qualities and have lead in some ways or another in various areas.

I think I’m a capable leader, but I’m not good enough. I’m always, or not, often in the position of assistant or vice ever since I was young. Why so? I don’t know, at first. I’m still finding out, but I know for sure it’s a process God wants to bring me through in order to prepare me for the future.

My dream is to become an artistic leader. Artistic = Creative, precise, appealing. Now, ever since I was young, I was placed in the “No.2” position, whether in children church or in camps. I’m always in the supportive role. Others may see that I’m fit to be in the leading role, but in fact I’m not, at least not yet.

I remember a particular incident where I was assistant leader of a group in the children’s class of a ministers’ retreat. My group leader was Solomon King, and the other assistant was Moses. King didn’t do much work, so most was done by the assistants. Moses was a year older and did most of the organizing, while I do more of the “people stuff” like helping out the younger kids and working with them. King was like…King. He “approves” our stuff and just “sits on the throne”. My experience from the whole thing was working with people is my “thing”, and people like leaders who are knowledgeable. Like the kids was always turning to me and Moses for answers when there was a bible quiz, and I almost immediately get lotsa attention when I scored 20 bonus points answering right a bonus question. Yes, I still feel good about that, in fact, I’m a sucker for attention, typical Sanguine.

That was when I was 11-years old.

Now as I’m older, I’m still in “No.2”, like vice president in SF (Student Fellowship) and ImPACToRS (Youth Fellowship). Let’s just look at SF. The other vice was more in charge of paperwork while I’m more on people and relations. Hm…Talk about Dejavu?

Now how do I see this as God preparing me? Bible says, to be a leader you first have to be a servant. Okay, maybe that’s why God placed me in “No.2” so often. And frankly, looking back I’m somehow thankful for the roles He’s given me though it’s not top dog or anything spectacular. God knows my strengths and weaknesses, for the strengths, I praise Him, for the weaknesses, I believe He’s still working on them.

So yeah, bring it on God, wherever you place me, I’ll do my best to be faithful in it, and at the same time build others.
Be blessed~!