Emotional Attack? Or Is It...

Spiritual attack.

I don't like it. I don't want to say it but I had to be honest. I'm not happy.

NYRC is just tomorrow. And just within this week, my emotions were like riding a roller coaster.

No. It's not what you think. Things aren't just that simple. It's this and that, plus a whole lot in between.

Yes, each time, spending time with God builds a whole lot of strength. I feel good, confident that the devil is not gonna put me down because I'm victorious and he's the loser.

But I just hate it, the rare times I actually even use the word "hate", when he's such a pig-headed bad guy when I'm trying my best to be as hardcore as I can.

Stress. Depressed. Guilt. Loneliness. And more...

This is sick, the bad guy knows my weak points. Hitting me hard again and again when I'm trying to keep myself focus on the things of God.

Am I trusting in God? Am I relying on Him? Am I crying out to Him to help?

OF COURSE I AM!!! I'm always trying to put up a nice and cheerful front, not weighing you down with what's going on inside, smiling again the next morning.

OF COURSE I AM CRYING WITH MY SICK AND PAINFUL HEART DAY AND NIGHT!!!
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT'S THE WHOLE MESS GOING ON INSIDE EXCEPT GOD!!!

I'm still believing, something good, something even greater is prepared and will take place. NYRC will be my retreat/intensive "training" to "repair" and equip me for greater things to come.

God bless~

**NYRC = Northern Youth Revival Camp